Monday, June 29, 2009


So its really almost July. WOW.

62 days left, give or take. When I think about how little this time really is, its almost heartbreaking and sad, but at the same time joyous and exciting. This year has been SO nuts and busy and full of growth. I dont even want to think about leaving yet, because its TOO overwhelming.

Its been a difficult week for me. I had a huge breakdown on Wednesday, trying to deal with and process left over emotions from last week regarding a ton of things. Some of the things I am still trying to go through are: relationships, dating/marriage, Shelterwood teens, our Wednesday community service, preparation for the race and a few others. On top of all of that, I was on dinner without any little sisters to help, and basically couldn't handle it. I ended up in a heap in Emily Crow's (fellow prayer partner) arms, crying my eyes out. After that I took some time to be with Jesus, about 2 hours to talk, pray, cry and journal. I must not be getting enough time with JC... I soaked it up like it was going out of style. It was exactly what I needed, but I also don't feel like I finished processing all of that. I still have a long way to go with those things.

Along with that though, I think I'm learning how to just allow myself to be broken. I hate brokenness in general, because it means being vulnerable. I don't think I like crying, so being vulnerable leads to tears, which leads to all sorts of crazy emotions, mainly an out of control feeling. Which, is another thing I've been working on, trying to not control everything. I've come a long way in this, at least I think so anyways. OH, the joys of Doulos and community and vulnerability.

In my room currently, Im experiencing a LOT of "yucky" stuff. One of my girls is going through her storming phase. Thankfully, its not crazy, chaotic, or scary storming, unlike most of the rest of the girls. She is more frustrated with ways of life and things that are "unfair". Since I am the chore lady, that means shes actually not just frustrated, but angry with me regarding several things. Her counselor actually reminded me today that she is a teenager... I guess I forget these things sometimes. I dont know why though. I also forget that they are "in crisis" or "troubled", because a lot of the time they seem normal enough. But they are not, which is why they are at Shelterwood. Im learning how to not take on their stuff, and how to just let them bang their head against the wall, fail and learn from it. And right now, Im the wall. Great metaphor, I know! Part of me is really glad shes storming and angry with me because it means shes going to grow and learn and try. But the other part, the part that gets woken up BEFORE its even time, is not too happy about it. But, what can I do? Nada, let it roll I guess.

Things are going well with the race! Check out my blog!!! Click HERE to view it!

Support Update!
Total Received in my race account: $520
Total Received in Pledges: $175
Total Other: $20
Total Overall: $715

Amount Still Needed: $15,000
I have also received donations for a backpack, tent, sleeping pad, headlamp, chacos, and hiking shoes.
My Happy Little Feet in my new Chacos!

Ways You Can Support Me:
If its placed on your heart to make a donation, click on the Support My Adventure tab on the left side of this page, or click HERE. OR, if you'd rather give a tangible gift, I have a Wish List at Click HERE for the wish list (address is: , if you'd rather copy and paste). I'd LOVE to have your help!
I have recently made a rag blanket (see below!), my first sewing project EVER! The Lord has really put it on my heart to either auction it off, or see if anyone would want to buy it, with all proceeds going directly towards my airfare or to my race account. If this strikes your fancy, LET ME KNOW! I'd love for you to have something to remember the race and me by!

Prayer Requests:
  1. Peace, for life in general... for my room. For the race
  2. Patience... for all things Shelterwood related. And also for myself
  3. My personal time with the Lord to be fruitful
  4. Financial provision for the rest of LeadTime and the Race
  5. For God to provide a car for Vegas
Happy July!!!


Leeann said...

I love this happy blog and the quilt looks great! Is it done already? If not, I should send you some of the scraps from your pillow case to add in there:) Love you girl!

Leeann said...

PS, the "nonsense" word it just made me enter to make sure I'm a real person was "menong"--takes me right back to working at the hotel!