Monday, June 29, 2009


So its really almost July. WOW.

62 days left, give or take. When I think about how little this time really is, its almost heartbreaking and sad, but at the same time joyous and exciting. This year has been SO nuts and busy and full of growth. I dont even want to think about leaving yet, because its TOO overwhelming.

Its been a difficult week for me. I had a huge breakdown on Wednesday, trying to deal with and process left over emotions from last week regarding a ton of things. Some of the things I am still trying to go through are: relationships, dating/marriage, Shelterwood teens, our Wednesday community service, preparation for the race and a few others. On top of all of that, I was on dinner without any little sisters to help, and basically couldn't handle it. I ended up in a heap in Emily Crow's (fellow prayer partner) arms, crying my eyes out. After that I took some time to be with Jesus, about 2 hours to talk, pray, cry and journal. I must not be getting enough time with JC... I soaked it up like it was going out of style. It was exactly what I needed, but I also don't feel like I finished processing all of that. I still have a long way to go with those things.

Along with that though, I think I'm learning how to just allow myself to be broken. I hate brokenness in general, because it means being vulnerable. I don't think I like crying, so being vulnerable leads to tears, which leads to all sorts of crazy emotions, mainly an out of control feeling. Which, is another thing I've been working on, trying to not control everything. I've come a long way in this, at least I think so anyways. OH, the joys of Doulos and community and vulnerability.

In my room currently, Im experiencing a LOT of "yucky" stuff. One of my girls is going through her storming phase. Thankfully, its not crazy, chaotic, or scary storming, unlike most of the rest of the girls. She is more frustrated with ways of life and things that are "unfair". Since I am the chore lady, that means shes actually not just frustrated, but angry with me regarding several things. Her counselor actually reminded me today that she is a teenager... I guess I forget these things sometimes. I dont know why though. I also forget that they are "in crisis" or "troubled", because a lot of the time they seem normal enough. But they are not, which is why they are at Shelterwood. Im learning how to not take on their stuff, and how to just let them bang their head against the wall, fail and learn from it. And right now, Im the wall. Great metaphor, I know! Part of me is really glad shes storming and angry with me because it means shes going to grow and learn and try. But the other part, the part that gets woken up BEFORE its even time, is not too happy about it. But, what can I do? Nada, let it roll I guess.

Things are going well with the race! Check out my blog!!! Click HERE to view it!

Support Update!
Total Received in my race account: $520
Total Received in Pledges: $175
Total Other: $20
Total Overall: $715

Amount Still Needed: $15,000
I have also received donations for a backpack, tent, sleeping pad, headlamp, chacos, and hiking shoes.
My Happy Little Feet in my new Chacos!

Ways You Can Support Me:
If its placed on your heart to make a donation, click on the Support My Adventure tab on the left side of this page, or click HERE. OR, if you'd rather give a tangible gift, I have a Wish List at Click HERE for the wish list (address is: , if you'd rather copy and paste). I'd LOVE to have your help!
I have recently made a rag blanket (see below!), my first sewing project EVER! The Lord has really put it on my heart to either auction it off, or see if anyone would want to buy it, with all proceeds going directly towards my airfare or to my race account. If this strikes your fancy, LET ME KNOW! I'd love for you to have something to remember the race and me by!

Prayer Requests:
  1. Peace, for life in general... for my room. For the race
  2. Patience... for all things Shelterwood related. And also for myself
  3. My personal time with the Lord to be fruitful
  4. Financial provision for the rest of LeadTime and the Race
  5. For God to provide a car for Vegas
Happy July!!!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

july? almost? WOW.


Its been a little bit too long, so sorry!

Things are going pretty well here, extremely busy! Summer continues to be non-stop action adventure!!

The girls house went camping on Thursday night in Arkansas. For some reason, we always go to Arkansas. Missouri must not be that great, ha. We went to the Buffalo River area, its so beautiful there. Unfortunately, I didnt take any photos. I ended up getting sick on Thursday night before dinner and spent the rest of the night in my own tent sleeping. It was really nice to be alone after feeling and getting sick. The stars out there are SO awesome! I wish I had been feeling well enough to lay out and enjoy Gods creations.

On Wednesdays, we volunteer in the afternoons at various places around Branson. One of the places we go to is the food pantry, CAM. I've been going there every week, and hope to keep going. This week, I had the opportunity to do interviews to the people in need, which means, I go down the list of items CAM offers, asking what they need/want. Its extremely humbling to be in that position, and more than once I've been choked up or actually cried. This week, there was a client that came in with needs for herself and 4 children, one of which was 4 months. She asked for everything that we offer, and when I mentioned diapers, she gasped saying "you have diapers! Oh yes please!" We ended up being able to give her extra diapers and wipes in addition to a fan that belonged to CAM (its been SO HOT here!!! Imagine that heat in a trailer). Before she left, I broke down in tears in the directors office. The Lord stirred so deeply in me to help her, which was an incredible feeling; knowing that God CAN AND WILL stir my heart, and that I can FEEL it. God is so good. The rest of the day went fairly slow, but knowing that God made a divine appointment with her and me so that she could be provided for, INCREDIBLE! I know I used that word a bit too much, but its so true. God is the incredible, the all powerful, the almighty. AH! God is awe-inspiring, and shocking! I dont know if I have any more words.

Since I've gotten my race blog, I feel that I've been consumed by race thoughts and all that goes with it. But thankfully, things have been super busy, and I havent been able to think about it much, and it doesnt consume my brain all the time. I think things are settling in that I AM going, and there are things that I need to do, but it doenst need to happen RIGHT NOW! If you know me well enough, you know my urgency regarding certain things... its hilarious Im sure.

Current Needs:
  1. Plane ticket to Oregon/Las Vegas for September
  2. Roundtrip plane ticket from Las Vegas to Atlanta, GA for training camp in October
  3. A car for my time in Las Vegas, September-December. If you know someone who has one, or if you have one that you are willing to let me borrow for this time, LET ME KNOW!

Prayer Requests!
  1. Prayer for my needs above.
  2. Continued financial provision for the end of LeadTime, through my time in Vegas and for the race.
  3. Rest, peace, patience for all things Shelterwood (its getting a bit exhausting)
  4. Rest, peace, patience for all things World Race.
Thanks everyone!
Love much!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

"its so exciting, I just can't stand it"


The title is a quote from Leeann about my blog/the race/whatever. AND I literally cant stand it because its ALL SO DANG EXCITING!!!!

Lets start with my NEW BLOG! It is my official World Race Blog. Im SO EXCITED I just cant stand it. The address is: Very similar to this address, for your convenience (not really... thats just the format, but wouldnt it be nice if it was for YOUR benefit? its actually really convenient though). ANYWAY. I have written my biography, my first two blog assignments (because I couldnt contain myself), and have posted some pictures. The main page shows you how to navigate the website... its super easy.

Another awesome feature of the blog is that I am able to "meet" my January team members. Within minutes of actually posting my first blog, several people had commented, welcoming me to the team. Its so cool to feel the community already. We also have a team blog site that you can view and meet my team too! The address is: . I cant even remember that address, too many ones and zeros. BUT, go check out their blogs too, they are an awesome group of people. Im looking forward to getting to know them better. We also have a racers only blog, and have already read some extremely vulnerable posts... and am excited to keep reading and post my own. Its gonna be a sweet ride! Its so exciting, I just cant stand it!!

As the summer continues, Im finding it hard to stay on track of the Shelterwood/LeadTime focus. I really struggle with being in the moment, and not going to think about the race all the time. People have suggested that I compartmentalize, but that is just too hard. Since I like to talk about the race, a lot (or at least I think I do), I tend to want to bring it up in conversations. But Im learning to hold my tongue when I think its neccessary to, or when its NOT neccessary to talk about it. Im trying to stay here, with the girls, in the present. Im trying to not have "short timer's", which is really easy around here. Its almost like avoiding the reality of where I actually am. Which, lets be honest, maybe I am. Oddly enough, I just had a conversation about this too... But I just need to be here. This is where God has me for the time.

Prayer Requests:
  1. For HIS divine provision for all things
  2. For the NOW part of right now, and not the NOW part of tomorrow
  3. For more guys to join my team for the race (okay, we all know it takes guys longer to commit, but lets be real, we need more!!)
  4. For my brain to quit (I cant fit God into the cerebral cortex people) with all the busyness for just a minute.
  5. REST!
thanks for reading!IM SO EXCITED I JUST CANT STAND IT!!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


Its a cold rainy day in Branson, and I'm sitting in a cold Starbucks with free internet. Awesome. I actually got to stay at the house until 4 today. On Wednesdays, we have community service/volunteer time in the afternoons. It was nice to get to just stay and hang out. This usually never happens. But starting next week, I will have Mondays off, which I think will be good. I'm looking forward to it. 

I'm facing a lot of opposition from the enemy lately about the race, and its been really hard to work with and deal with. Thankfully, I have a great friend that I know from Maui, who is now in Canada, who is also doing the race, but in October. Stacey and I are going through the same thing right now, and its nice to have someone with me on the ride. There are two things I'm absolutely sure of right now. 1) I KNOW FOR SURE that this is what the Lord wants me to do. 2) HE CAN AND WILL provide for me financially, despite my fears. And I actually know one more thing. 3) God is going to use me in ways I've never imagined, and is going to break me and mold me into who HE wants me to be. 

I was browsing the World Race website  this afternoon... they have a blog roll of the last 100 blogs. I read a blog of a girl, Darci Simpson, who has to go home because of her very sick grandfather. She is waiting in South Africa right now, waiting for her flight home to Texas. I am praying for her during this hard time, as I know exactly what its like to experience death in an intense situation. I felt led by the Lord to email her and encourage her, so I obeyed and wrote her, and actually cried through it. We have a powerful God!!! I went on to read the rest of her blogs, she is currently on the January 09 race, and its so awesome to read about some of the places I will be traveling to (especially Thailand). So, if you think about it, click on her name above and read... it will delight you, and amaze you. And, if you can pray for her too :)

SO all of that got me thinking about the race and the people, and the countries. AND just how much I really want to go. I'm glad I have 7 months (211 days) to wait. This waiting season is going to be great, and full of fruit. I feel hopeful, I feel nervous, I feel excited beyond belief. I think I'm most excited for Australia and Thailand (February and April), but also really excited for Romania and Ukraine (September and October). I will get to say that I will turn 26 in Romania. HOW many people can say that?!?! Maybe some people on my trip? I hope so! 26 sounds old because I'm not there yet... I feel very young on the inside. But, I'm still 24. Yep, 24. But only for a few more months! Okay, I'm getting sidetracked. Back to race stuff. 

I stuffed and stamped my support letters this week! I hate folding paper. And cutting paper. And writing. NO, not really. I love all things administrative... but my hands really hurt after. I'm now waiting for my pictures to arrive in the mail, my really awesome pictures that my great friend Erin Riley almost Clarke took a few weeks ago. SHE IS such an awesome photographer, and one of my dearest friends. When I get those, hopefully by FRIDAY, I will be sending out my letters! One step closer to the race! But the next step is paying my deposit, which I do not have the money for right now. Pray that this changes! I'm so excited to get my official World Race Blog, maybe too excited! But the best thing about it, is that I will be able to officially meet the rest of my squad for January. I mean, I guess I could do it now, but its weird without a blog! 

Prayer Requests!
  1. Financial provision. For the race, for the rest of LeadTime.
  2. That I am able to TRUST in the truth that God has given me about going on the race, and about being provided for always. 
  3. Financial provision for my deposit. AH! AND peace that it will be FINE!
  4. Rest. I'm already so tired, and its only been a few days of summer. 
  5. Boldness to share the gospel and share about the race with others.
  6. Pray for Darci Simpson, and her family.